A few months ago I spoke about mood disorders and depression during pregnancy on Natural Moms Talk Radio (http://naturalmomstalkradio.com/). It has now been posted up on the website and I wanted to share it with all of you.
To listen to Dr. Regev on Natural Moms Talk Radio click HERE
If you have a question that pertains to moods during pregnancy , feel free to contact me.
I am excited to announce that I will be holding a new workshop on July 24 specifically for couples who are expecting their first baby. The workshop will focus on the transition to parenthood. All the info is posted below:
I recently answered a question regarding sexual challenges in the postpartum period for Urban Baby & Toddler summer issue. Click on the photo to read the question and my answer. ( page 8 )
West Coast Baby Guide 2010 recently published an article of mine on depression during pregnancy. Click on the photo below to read the full article. (page 16)
A recent study out of The University of B.C. has found that anti-anxiety medications of the Benzodiazepine family, such as Xanax and Ativan are being prescribed to Canadians for long term use to treat anxiety despite strong evidence indicating that long-term use of these medications often adversely affect patients. Among the known risks are dependence, rebound effect (i.e., increased anxiety), sleep problems, nausea, mental “fog” and more. Millions of people in Canada and the U.S. as well as in other countries around the world suffer from anxiety disorders. Anxiety can be extremely unpleasant, bothersome, scary and debilitating. There is definitely a good reason to treat anxiety when it negatively affects a person’s sense of well-being and functioning. The good news is, that there are highly effetive ways to treat anxiety and relieve a person of their anxiety symptoms quite quickly. One example is Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT), a type of therapy, which incorporates behavior modification techniques as well as cognitive restructuring (i.e., changing thought patterns which are anxiety provoking). CBT can equip a client with a tool kit which may last them for life. To get the best results, it is important to work with a therapist who is well-trained in this model of therapy, such as a registered psychologist, a marriage and family therapist or a registered counsellor who has had formal training in this type of therapy.
There are many other ways to get relief from anxiety, such as: acupuncture, some supplements (e.g., GABA and 5-HTP) and some homeopathic medication. The main thing is to be aware that there ARE ways to treat anxiety OTHER than with medication, which do not have any side effects or cause dependency. It is important to know all of the choices and to work with a professional that has the knowledge and open-mindedness to advise you appropriately.
This post was written in collaboration with Dr. Eyal Lebel, Doctor of TCM and Master Herbalist of Vancouver, B.C.
You may be surprised to learn that many pregnant women become depressed and/or anxious in various stages of their pregnancy. In fact, research shows that up to 15% of pregnant women struggle with one or more mental health problem. Yet, most pregnant women who struggle with mental health issues go undiagnosed. Of the few who do get diagnosed most are offerred anti-depressants. While medication is warranted in particularly severe cases of depression and anxiety most women can get better by getting one or more non-pharmachological (i.e., no medication) treatments, such as: Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy, Interpersonal Therapy, Bright Light Therapy and Marital Therapy. These types of therapy have been found to be highly effective in treating women with depression and/or anxiety and they have absolutely no side effects and, of course, do not negatively affect the fetus.
You may ask yourself why these types of therapy are not often being offerred to pregnant women while medications are. The answer lies with our medical system in Canada. The non-pharmacological therapies are not covered by MSP while anti-depressants are. Also, pharmaceutical companies are very powerful and very efficient in advertising anti-depressants as “miracle drugs”, which are capable of curing depression and/or anxiety very effectively and easily. This in not always the truth; anti-depressants are effective in only 60% of the cases and they do get to the baby through the placenta. Also, anti-depressants do not take care of psycho-social reasons for depression and anxiety, such as: social isolation, past trauma, distressed relationship with partner, an unwanted pregnancy and more.
It is important that women are made aware of all the different types of treatments, which are available and have been established as highly effective, so that women can be informed and by that, be empowered. Women should be given the opportunity to become partners in their own mental health treatment.
I am excited to announce that I have been chosen by Urban Baby & Toddler magazine as one of their experts on parenting and relationship issues. You can read the first article that I was interviewed for in the current Spring 2010 issue. The article offers “10 Ways to perk up your relationship after baby”. (click on the picture to link to the website)
Look out for the Summer 2010 issue of Urban Baby & Toddler coming out soon. I have written an article for that issue as well and also answered some of your questions in the “Ask the expert” section.
And if you have any questions you’d like answered, feel free to contact me HERE
CanadianLiving.com recently posted an article referencing my “Top 10 Tips for Perking Up Your Relationship” (which I have shared in a previous post).
You can read the full article HERE
Also, if you have relationship questions that you’d like answered, feel free to contact me.
With Valentine’s Day just around the corner, you may be asking yourself: “how do we mark this special day when we’re so busy taking care of our family?” Nurturing your relationship while caring for young children can be a challenge. However, if you only focus on child-care, house chores and errands, you are risking becoming room-mates or business partners rather than lovers. Therefore, your relationship must be nurtured on a regular basis, and Valentine’s day is a good time to start!
I have put together 10 tips to help you start the process of turning your relationship from good to great!
1. Make the relationship a top priority. If you have a newborn or a couple of kids at home, you may experience life as a whirlwind. You are probably just getting by every day and you may be tired or even frustrated at times. Your kids likely take first priority and then there may be other things that need your attention. So even though your relationship cannot always be a top priority, you need to make sure it is one of the top 3 things on your list and that, from time to time, it does take first priority.
2. Take care of yourself. If you don’t take care of yourself you will have little energy for your partner or the relationship. It is important to set aside some private time for yourself and engage in activities that make you feel good, such as exercise or enjoying time with friends, so you are well both physically and emotionally. When you feel good about yourself you are more likely to feel good and and have more energy and interest in the relationship. This is also true when you are caring for children. You have to take care of you first. And if that’s not convincing enough, did you know that lionesses feed themselves before they feed their cubs? It is true!
3. Aspire to achieve at least a 5:1 positive to negative interaction ratio. Dr. John Gottman from the University of Washington in Seattle has researched couples for over 30 years and has found that stable and happy couples were characterized by having at least a 5:1 positive to negative interaction ratio. For every 1 negative interaction such as criticism or complaint, there were at least 5 positive interactions, such as words of appreciation, affection or compliments. A word of caution: don’t overdo it and keep it honest. If you say things you don’t mean your partner is likely to perceive you as fake or cynical. This may result in more distance in the relationship.
4. Learn to de-escalate tense situations. The key to dealing with tense situations is for each partner to learn how to take turns in de-escalating it through the use of humor, taking responsibility for actions, clarifying and apologizing. If you are using humor, it should not be on your partner’s expense but yours. Self-humor is likely to de-escalate a tense situation whereas a joke on your partner’s expense is likely lead to more hard feelings and alienation. To create the feeling of mutuality and fairness in the relationship it is best if both partners share the responsibility for de-escalation.
5. Remind yourself of things you love and appreciate in each other. Don’t assume that they know you love them or that they remember that you appreciate their great organizing skills. It is always great to hear that you do. Hearing your partner talk about you lovingly and with appreciation can give a boost to your self-esteem and is a great aphrodisiac! Again, be honest and don’t overdo it or your partner will perceive the opposite and may be put off by your efforts.
6. Spend quality and fun time together. While it can be a challenge for new parents, I cannot emphasize enough how important it is to actually spend quality, fun time together as a couple. Quality time, as opposed to spending time going over the budget, running errands or performing house-chores, is time when you two connect on an emotional level, in a positive way. Sex counts too, provided you’re both having fun and feel emotionally connected.
7. Talk about your goals and dreams. Make the time to sit down together and take turns in telling each other your goals and dreams. When you are listening to your partner avoid dismissing, ridiculing or deeming their dreams unrealistic. It is important to listen with an open mind and with curiosity. Clarifying questions are okay, but make sure you are not cynical. You may find that you share some of your goals and dreams while others you do not, and that’s normal. Your partner will feel listened to, validated and important; all of which are great relationship-boosters.
8. Make special gestures. Making a special gesture means that you are going out of your way to do something that your partner considers special to let them know that you’ve thought about them and that you love them. Examples are: cooking a special meal, buying their favorite wine or coffee, letting them sleep in on Sunday morning while you take care of the kids, chores, etc., giving them a foot rub. The main thing is that it is your partner who will enjoy and appreciate the gesture. Once again, the rule of reciprocity applies. Not in a tit-for-tat kind of way but making sure that it is not only one partner that makes all the gestures is important.
9. Express your love for each other in as many ways as you can think of. Whether you are an eloquent poet or can’t put more than 2 words together on paper, your loved one doesn’t care as long as you tell them you love them on a regular basis. In the daily grind, partners may forget to express love to each other. But the practice of expressing love on a regular basis has been shown to be one of the most important building blocks of romantic relationships. Here are a few ideas: love notes, Stevie Wonders type phone calls: “I just called to say I love you”, love SMSs, voice messages, drawing a red heart on the bathroom mirror (you may use lipstick for that), one red rose with or without a note or hugging your loved one and whispering in their ear. Everyone yearns to be loved and likes to hear that they are. If you feel a bit awkward in the beginning-that’s normal. Keep at it and you’ll become a natural. Your partner will thank you!
10. Touch each other affectionately, not only during sex . One of the most common complaints I hear from couples and especially from women, is that they do not get enough affectionate touch like hugging, kissing, holding hands, cuddling or caressing, except when their partner wants to have sex. As humans, we thrive on touch and it brings us emotionally closer. If you’re only touching each other during sex you are both missing out on one of the greatest ingredients that make a loving relationship. While affectionate touching may sometimes lead to sex, if you’re only touching during sex then the moment you start touching your partner knows immediately what your intentions are and, sometimes, this may create some resentment. It is also a good idea to create a bit of anticipation and mystery in the relationship: “is this touch going to lead to love-making or not?” So touch each other affectionately as much as you like; it’s free, it feels good and it’s a great relationship-enhancer.
Yesterday the RCMP made a grisly discovery: the body of a newborn baby was found in one of the public dumps of Vancouver. Today the police arrested the baby’s mother. An article was written about it in the Vancouver Sun.
The action of killing a baby under 12 months of age is called Infantacide. If the baby is under 24 hours old, it is called neonaticide. Why would a mother kill her baby? Usually mothers who kill their newborn babies have concealed or denied their pregnancy and failed to recive prenatal care. Most of these women are poor, undecuated, sometimes single and most of the times did not plan the pregnancy. Sometimes, when a psychiatric evaluation is conducted, the mother is diagnosed with acute psychosis or may have suffered from ongoing depression or manic-depressive illness, which was untreatreated or not treated appropriately. For others, psychosis, a state of being detached from reality and experiencing delusions or hallucinations, has a sudden, unpredictable onset. Pregnant women who conceal their pregnancy and do not seek prenatal care are at an increased risk for committing infantacide, although not all baby-murderers have the same profile.
The main thing to remember is that untreated depression or any other mental illness may result in infantacide. It is therefore very important to screen pregnant and postpartum women for depression and to follow the up very closely. It is also important that friends and family members of women who are pregnant and deny or reject their pregnancy, and women who seem to be significantly depressed alert their close family members and try to get the woman to see a doctor as soon as possible.
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Dr. Regev – Blog
